So, I said I was going to start blogging again. But here it is Friday, January 5th. And until this very minute I have not even thought about writing for my blog since my post a week ago. Hmmm. Wonder if that means anything?  Well, you might think that I’ve already broken my New Year’s Resolution – only that wasn’t a New Year’s Resolution. At least I didn’t say it in relation to the New Year. But was it a resolution? Hmmmm. Well, I’m going to say it wasn’t because I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.  And not because I don’t like the New Year or resolutions or the combination of the two. I happen to think they are wonderfully optimistic and I like that lots of folks make them. It’s just that, for me, I’ve learned that if I make them, I don’t keep them. And that makes me feel bad about myself. And I’m done feeling bad about myself. (Maybe that’s a resolution?)

I used to make them – a lot of them sometimes. I made the usual ones folks make about exercising and/or losing weight – and we all know how they turned out. I’ve also made ones about writing – I’d promise myself that I would write something – anything – every single day. And what happened with that is I’d end up writing $#*%  – and then feeling bad about myself.  And, like I said, I’m done with that. (yep, probably a resolution – but definitely not made on New Year’s Day – probably more like midsummer one year a way long time ago.)

I’ve also made some rather note-worthy resolutions:

• Learn to speak Spanish
• Learn Sign Language
• Read “War and Peace”
• Visit the Grand Canyon
• Send Christmas cards
• Send birthday cards
• Send get well cards
• Get rich
• Do more cross stitch
• Handmake all my Christmas gifts
• Keep a dream journal
• Keep a journal
• Meditate every day

And guess what?  I never managed to keep a single one of those things after putting it on my New Year’s Resolution list.  However, there are a few things on that list that have happened but they just happened in a rather organic way – not because I put it on a list and then checked it off. Mostly they happened when I was just living life. Now, mind you, I still don’t speak Spanish (not conversationally, anyway) and I don’t know sign language (unless you count a couple of rude gestures I have made on occasion).  And I am a complete bum when it comes to sending greeting cards – of any sort. Not that I never send them. I just can’t manage it on a regular basis but I admire the heck out of those people that do. And I LOVE it when I receive cards – a really, really lot –because I know that means the person thought of me, bought the card, bought stamps AND went to the Post Office. And that is a LOT. So, if you’ve ever sent me a card, please know that I really and truly appreciate the effort and I’m sorry that I’m a bum. As for cross stitching – well, scratch that off the list entirely. The fact is, I hate cross stitching. I admire those folks who do it. But I don’t. The end. And I don’t handmake anything. And if I did, trust me, you wouldn’t want it.

As for journals, well, I don’t. Once I managed to keep a Dream Journal for two years. Hey, maybe that counts for something, right? But it was just one of those things I did because I did – not because I resolved to do it. I was just thinking if I wrote down all the crazy dreams I have every single night that I’d learn something – about myself maybe. Or maybe I’d find out that I could actually predict the future or discover something fantastic or mysterious or solve something. I didn’t. But I now have a record of my crazy dreams for whatever they’re worth. (shrug)

I did make it to the Grand Canyon – all because my wonderful husband planned the entire trip from beginning to end – including how long we’d drive every day and every hotel stop along the way. We drove across the country with our two dogs and it took a little over two weeks. It was a blast! We saw incredible scenery, hiked some beautiful and difficult trails, ate some fabulous and not-so-fabulous food, and enjoyed each other and each day immensely.

I have at last read Leo Tolstoy’s classic novel “War and Peace” – thanks to my Second Thursday Afternoon Book Club’s most insistent member, Joy Baker Davis. And I will be eternally grateful to her for having guided me through all 1,162 pages. I now truly understand why it is a classic. I fell in love with Pierre Bezukhov and felt myself there with him in his suffering, sadness, passion, and happiness. But my reading it had nothing to do with MY resolution – rather it was Joy’s stout resolve that we should all read and enjoy the classics. It makes me smile every time I think of it.

Happily, I also meditate every day. Whether that has happened because of a New Year’s Resolution or not I couldn’t say for I have been doing it every day for many years. I suspect that at some point along the way in all the years of my starting and stopping and starting again I must have resolved to do it somewhere so deep in my soul that it finally stuck. For sure there were days when I didn’t have time, forgot to do it, was too tired to do it, was too busy to do it, and a hundred other reasons but eventually the reasons/excuses just gave way to the doing. Nowadays, I can’t imagine NOT doing it. And that, dear ones, has made me rich.

As for my blogging, well, I’ll just say that I like writing. I like blogging. And, hopefully, I will manage to get a blog out on some sort of regular basis. And, hopefully, it will manage to find you somewhere reading it. Life is too short to feel bad about oneself. So, we’ll just see what happens. Whatever you do, be happy.

With love, Linda

4:14 PM January 5^th, 2024